So, I am sorry to anyone and everyone who reads my blog--- I am sorry I have not written in like a month. I don't really have a good excuse why, as I am not exactly sure of the reason why myself...
Part of it is probably that I have started and been busy with my new nanny job....which is going great by the way. I guess the mere fact that I am now working all day- every day again, means that I am no longer sitting at my computer obsessing over Peace Corps blogs and such all day. And there have actually been some evenings where I get home and do not even turn my computer on!
I think the other thing about working again is that I feel like I'm kind of switched back into normal everyday life again, and somewhat switched out of that "oh my gosh, I'm going to Africa soon" phase. It's not that I am not excited about Zambia or anything, it's just that I was already waiting and getting so close to leaving, and now I still have more waiting to do....I'm just tired of thinking about it is all.
Probably every other day I get asked "So, have you heard anything new/more about your Peace Corps thing?" and I respond "No!" while having to hold back my attitude and frustration.....What new would I have heard?!?!?! There is nothing new....there is nothing more... I am going to Zambia, January 31st...... and that's that.....there is nothing to do but wait.
I don't want people to misunderstand and think I am not excited or that I am rethinking PC or anything. I just feel like I've already gone through all of the excitement and obsession with the first departure....and at this point I just don't really feel like thinking about it as much anymore. It's too much effort. I'd rather just keep on going with daily life for the next couple months.... and I will allow myself to get excited and put in the effort again once I have the plane tickets in my hand...
I totally get you - I feel like I've done enough thinking and obsessing to make myself crazy, but to everyone who isn't in the situation has no understanding of the mental toll it takes to get through the process. Hopefully the switch back to a normal routine will get the time to pass more quickly!
ReplyDeleteI can relate. It is indeed very taxing. At times I just feel very apathetic towards the entire process, which is probably somewhat required to keep sane. I know my relatives probably think I'm entirely crazy (and/or foolish) to stick around for what seems like an eternity for this thing, when I've already had one nomination and one invitation get cancelled on me. I think you'll enjoy Zambia though. The thought of living in an African village where all of the lively and smiling youngsters clamor after Americans, making references to Barack Obama, Michael Jordan, and other famous Americans makes me smile.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ryan and Elizabeth :-) It is a hard process for us all... but I know it will all be worth it when our time finally comes :-)
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